Friday, September 24, 2010

Well, it's inevitable -- I am getting old.

I am not a self-conscious person. At least in the world of self-conscious people, I am no where near the top of the heap. I attribute this to my parents who instilled a strange, and sometimes unwarranted sense of confidence in me at a young age.

For instance, I played volleyball in high school {actually only freshman year} and sat on the bench 85% of the time. My parents nonetheless attended every single game and cheered as if I was single-handedly creating world peace. They told me I was great. Every game. Even when I didn't play. My coach noted otherwise. But despite the coaches lack-luster praise, I truly thought for years that I was good. I just chose to move on to other ventures. 

I see the same confidence in my daughter. So maybe it is genetic or maybe I parent in the same way as my own parents. I'm not entirely sure, but I will say this with 100% certainty: I did not teach little miss thang to pose like this. At age 3.


Suffice to say, a healthy dose of confidence streams through my veins and I clearly have passed it down to the next generation one way or another.

But I digress. A decade birthday is looming large in my life. I can see it on the calendar and my precious hubs is planning a lovely gathering of friends. I love a party, so I keep focusing on the party and not on the inevitable aging! 

And truly, it's just a number. 

I am confident. 

And, I feel young. 

I am certain I still look young. 

My kids still think I am cool (though I fear this may be more a product of their age than mine). 

And, I swear I can still remember high school and college and law school so vividly. It could not have been that long ago. 

Clearly, I am still young.

Despite this raging sense of confidence, yesterday I was humbled. In many ways. It was like my entire young personality came crashing down on what will soon be a decrepit old lady.

Here were the clues:
  • I found myself driving 60 mph on the freeway.  60!  I used to drive wildly around people driving 60 and flip them off.  Yesterday, 60 felt just fine. 
  • While driving 60 I was listening what could only be called "soft jazz." Oh dear Lord! It is one thing to listen to soft jazz when having dinner with friends and creating a swanky, hip vibe. It is an entirely different thing to listen to soft jazz while driving 60 on the freeway. Embarrassing. 
  • I needed a few new bras so while out I stopped into Victoria's Secret. Well let me tell you this: Victoria has no secret. She is letting it all hang out for every Tom, Dick and Harry to see. I was mortified by the store alone. The pictures. The overt sexuality of it all. When did I morph into such a prude? A puritan! I did, however, purchase 3 bras {you really should try the new Incredible series - but that's another post} and matching panties {score +1 for still being young enough to care about my bra and panties matching}, but I left the store wondering if Victoria has changed or was it me?!
  • Returning from the mall to my car I also noticed something was amiss. My car is relatively clean and free from the trappings of toddlers. This makes sense since I no longer have toddlers, but it was nonetheless a bit surprising. I no longer have Cheerios smashed into every crevice. There is no longer trash strewn about the back seat as if an explosion occurred on the way to or from school. When did my children become old enough to clean up after themselves {and even more importantly, why can they not do so in the house?!}.
  • My eyes are improving. This sounds positive, right?! I have worn glasses or contacts since age 9. I have horrid vision. The last three years, however, my eyes have improved. I smiled when my eye doctor told me they had improved again this year. With a slightly sadistic smile she then said: This generally happens before you start needing readers! Ok, now that is where I draw the line. Readers?! My mother wore readers. And that *cute* little chain to hold them around the neck. Ugh. 
  • The hubs returned from a trip yesterday. I hadn't seen him in days. So good to have him home. But he was limping. Like an old man. What is wrong with you, I inquire? Apparently he played tennis with a young friend and hurt himself. Well, at least he is still out there getting after it I think. Until, that is, he pulls out an arthritis rub!!!! I kid you not. Oh my! I tried in my mind to attribute this only to him. I didn't pull a muscle. I am not using arthritis rub. It's just him. But, then the confidence waned. We are the exact same age and he is generally in very good shape. We are just getting old. Both of us.
  • I also came to the realization that I have lost the eye of the tiger. I have always had a competitive streak. I believe my competitive edge served me well - in law school, in obtaining a job, even in raising children {that too is entirely different post}. I always say I'm just competing against myself: to be the best I can be. But truth be told, the motivation comes from being better than others. There, I said it. Yesterday, however, I realized I just don't care anymore. I am no longer motivated by beating someone. Did kids do that to me? We always talk about just having fun, not winning. Did I take my own advice to heart?! I no longer care to be better, look nicer, or run faster than anyone else. It just isn't worth all the energy. I am just me. Just Amy.
So, here I sit this morning reading blogs and wondering: where have all the years gone?! And will the uncanny sense of confidence wane as the years tick by or will it provide for a gentle transition into my golden years?!  


What about you, sweet readers? What signs of aging have you noticed recently? Do tell. This girl woman needs a little boost today! In addition to the boost provided by my new bra, that is!

45 comments:

Anna Walker said...

Hahahha I like Victoria's Secret! I am prude-ish sometimes about it though.

I don't know. About aging. I have no idea! :) I do have glasses already though. AND don't worry about it :) Go to bed early, and wake up early and enjoy that sunrise! :)

http://annawalker1992.blogspot.com/

OR Watch an episode of How I Met Your Mother entitled "Murtaugh" You will like it! :)

Eat. Live. Laugh. and sometimes shop! said...

Thanks, Anna. Your youth is so apparent and cute! I wish it could rub off on me!!! : )

Diva said...

My little girl poses like that too! She calls it her "Foxy Mama" pose. Not sure where she gets it!!! Thanks for visiting during my SITS Day!

Liz said...

I got a good laugh out of that old lady at the end of your post.

I think the "soft jazz" is what bothered me the most.

Charlene said...

For the most part I LOVE getting older. Each year I feel more grateful and certainly hope for many "decade" milestones in my future! Where I notice getting older the most (in less desirable ways) is one word : WRINKLES. There was a time when I only had to worry about bad hair days. Now I have to worry about "bad face" days! LOL!

Leslie said...

Sorry Amy - no "boosts" but I can tell you you're as beautiful now as you were when you were a teenager! I had the big birthday a couple of months ago & it's really no big deal, I promise. Just enjoy :-) And love your blog - so glad Ashley posted it! Leslie (THS)

Eat. Live. Laugh. and sometimes shop! said...

Leslie, you are so sweet. Thank you!!!

Tara said...

You aren't wrong - Victoria's has changed. She really doesn't have any secrets and I'm beginning to question her upbringing! After all, there are children witnessing those store windows, even if their parents are merely passing by in the mall! (LOL! Does that reassure you that you are not the only one getting old?) And I spent several days this week suffering with sciatic nerve pain while trying to carry my twins around, so I'm feeling positively ancient! That said, I can definitely attest to the fact that with age comes experience and wisdom, so I'll take it!

Audra said...

As I near a half-decade birthday (in a year), I am realizing I am aging as well! The term "advanced maternal age" is thrown about when we talk about the spacing for future kids. I swear my cheeks aren't growing fuller but LONGER! The last time I went too long before buying a box of hair dye, I saw not red, GREY! Students that I taught in kindergarten are getting MARRIED and having babies! At least besides the jowls I apparently still look fairly young as I get kids menus for 12 and under when I go out.... that's not really a compliment!

Kristi {at} Live and Love...Out Loud said...

Honey, Victoria's Secret changed. Not you! Have you seen those skinny little things traipsing around on TV with their teeny-tiny little 20 year old butt cheeks hanging out? Puh-lease. No secrets there!
And your eye doctor? She needs a slap! lol
Welcome to the old folks club. It's nice to have you join us.

Kristi, Live and Love...Out Loud
@TweetingMama

PS I love your sense of humor!

Eat. Live. Laugh. and sometimes shop! said...

Thanks, ladies! I appreciate the support. And yes, Tara, I agree: I'll take the wisdom I've earned any day. Far more important than cute 20 year-old butt cheeks!!

Vivobello said...

Oh this post hit home! Well, at least we're old enough to sit back with a glass of wine and watch all the youngins out making a ruckiss.

Eat. Live. Laugh. and sometimes shop! said...

Cheers!

Nay said...

LOL. Cute blog. I only just turned 29, but I went to a high school freshman football game for a friends son, and the kids looked so f'ing small!!! I kept thinking, "oh god, I was having sex when I was their age...these babies could be having sex!!!". Too funny.

Sheila said...

I can so relate! I just turned the big 4-0, and my eyes are improving so much I now only need contacts for driving. I keep telling myself it will even out and I will NEVER need readers, but yeah, right.

My car is clean, my kids do the dishes, I have time to myself, I sleep at night, but I'm getting peri-menopausal, I have to stretch when I wake up in the morning, and I can't eat as much chocolate cake as I used to without feeling it the next day. Sigh.

Sheila from To Love, Honor and Vacuum

L. Eleana Johnson said...

As I get older, and I start feeling pains I've never felt before, I've started to dwell on this fear I have of getting older. But I do love the little old lady at the end of your post, she's cute! Hope, I'm still using my computer with a bottle of red wine typing away.

Visiting you from the Blogfrog SU group.

Maureen @Tatter Scoops said...

OMG love this post! You had me at Victoria Secret hahaha. I feel you for sure!

Charise @ I Thought I Knew Mama said...

Haha - I can so identify!

Alison Golden - The Secret Life of a Warrior Woman said...

I am with you on everything...except the soft jazz. You need to get something rocking in that car, lady! ;-)

The Budget Diet said...

I've decided that in your late 40's there's a little clock inside your body that says, ok...it's time to start falling apart! I am very healthy, but this past year has been the first time that I've found myself complaining about aches & pains from exercise!

Manjusha said...

I think aging is fine. What is wrong with that? It is an inevitable part of life. If you want to live sixty or seventy years, you have to age.

I am on the wrong side of 30 and absolutely happy about it. I am yet to experience any age-related health problems, but I am sure they are round the corner. Maybe I need to eat right and exercise.

Hines-Sight said...

Love this. I still have the cheerios, and goldfish in the crevices. Ha!

tristan said...

let me be the first to tell you. victoria is not the woman she used to be. and you, my dear, are NOT old.

Joanne said...

I love this and I can so relate! In my family, we have good genes. My mom never looked her age and people were telling her how great she looked up to a few weeks before she passed away. People have always thought me younger than I am so I don't think of myself as old, but, the one thing that got me three years ago was noticing my up close vision going. There is nothing that can make you feel old like that little gem of knowledge. Not so long ago I was my mother's eyes. How can it be that I am struggling to read a medicine bottle now. Ugh!And I still have not bought readers. I comfort myself in the knowledge that I can see fine up close with my contact lenses out. And by the way, my 6 year old daughter strikes poses too. Isn't that so funny?

Morgan said...

With every creak and hobble in the morning I think, "it's not going to get better" ... ugh! Love the last snapshot!! :)

Enjoy your SITS day! :)

Ms. Redo said...

You were very blessed to have parents who instilled confidence in you. Sadly, I was not and it's been an intense struggle all my life. Love your blog, your little girl's pose is just adorable :)

Stacey said...

I love your daughter's pose for the camera! She is a cutie. Getting old does suck. My knees creak when I walk up the stairs. I mean seriously creak. I sound like an old lady. Happy SITS day! I hope you enjoy it!

Christa aka The BabbyMama said...

My birthday is tomorrow and I am definitely experiencing all of these things and then some. Except for the smooth jazz. Nope, I'm an NPR gal. Doesn't get fuddier than that!

saltandnectar said...

I will be fine until I see the first gray hair in my redhead. Then I'm going to lose it. ;)

Mommy Crib Notes said...

When I get up after sitting awhile at the end of the day, I moan a little and take a second to get fully upright. So old. I also can't recognize 95% of the celebrities on TMZ anymore. Because, I'm no longer hip. Despite that, my husband and I continue to watch it.

Lady Jennie said...

I laughed at that last picture. I was sitting the exact same way.

thefamilymath said...

I'm only 28, but I feel the same way sometimes! I think you are not getting old, you are just continuing to mature. :) Happy SITS day.

The Dolls Are Alright said...

What a fun read! Being 60-1/2 (yes, I love being older, so I include the half year in there) is amazing. Every morning there is a different body part asking to be noticed, recognized, appreciated for getting me to this age. I still feel very young and then laugh when I look in the mirror ~ how did my mother get into my mirror!? I'm a fine wine - mellowing and becoming deeper, richer in quality ... and definitely, so are you! Thanks for the smile and giggles ~ Patricia

LBDDiaries said...

Alpha Hubby and I do not age gracefully. We attack it and fight it every step of the way. Somewhere in our 50's we began changing bad habits and food choices. We feel better than we have in younger years. That being said, I finally noticed a wee bit of crow's feet - AUGH! I wear contacts - mono vision. One left-eye contact for reading, the other right-eye for seeing far away and when worn together, 20-20 vision. I love it! NO little reading glasses for me to lose.

LBDDiaries said...

oh, and p.s. - Victoria Secret changed. It used to be simply sexy under clothing - now it is shock & awe advertising, slighty pornographic. I assume the change was so gradual we didn't notice.

Michael said...

I am 5'1" so I have been wearing heels for longer than I admit. I only wear cute little flats when running errands or shopping. And tennis shoes only for workouts. Heels are what I wear to the office but recently I have noticed that at the end of the day my feet and knees hurt this never happened in my younger days. I could be in heels all day every day no problem but now I find myself looking for reasons to wear the cute little flats instead of the 3 inch heels.

Angie said...

Happy SITS day!

I too feel a bit older than I probably should. I mean, 31 isn't old, right? I remember when my mom turned 30 and it seemed WAY older than what I am now. We're like fine wine though...we're aging well!

mynewfavoriteday.com said...

Oh my gosh, I am cracking up...soft jazz, I was listening to classical the other day and thinking ahhh,isn't it nice that it's so peaceful. I have never done that before except for when I was pregnant (good for the brain development they say). We all may be getting older but our lines, quirks and physical changes just mean we are living and have lived. Happy SITS day to you and thanks for sharing this post, it is both funny and poignant and remember per US Magazine, 40 is the new 30 or at least it is in my mind:)

Emily Cullen said...

I come at birthdays from a different perspective. I turn 42 this Saturday. I have Lupus and a dozen other goodies. Another birthday is a good thing. I look around 30 but my insides are that of an 80 year old. It's weird...I feel young in my brain though. As for getting older, I always just say I will be morphing gracefully into old age!

all.things.fadra said...

I wrote a post last November when I reached that "milestone" birthday. Mine was a bit introspective. I think this year, my birthday post is going to be more along the lines of "what the hell happened?" Apparently, I really am over the hill and on the way down.

But at the same time, I like driving slower (sometimes) and listening to coffeehouse music. Don't you?

Kacey said...

Great pic at the end of your post. I feel you on some of these getting old reminders.

Esmeralda said...

I like your post and your daughter is such a cutie x

Susan in the Boonies said...

Happy SITS day! Hope you've had lots of guests, and lots of fun!!! :-D

Posts about getting old are so RELATIVE to one's readers, aren't they? Some folks will agree with you wholeheartedly ("Wow! She IS old!"), some folks will completely identify and relate to exactly where you are, and some folks will just roll their eyes at you feeling sorry for yourself when you're still so young.

Still, it's a feeling nearly all of us have at some point or another. It's the knowledge that life is finite, and we're all somewhere on the spectrum of the dying process. It's just further along for some of us than for others. That's what nibbling away at the back of our minds, as we notice negative changes in our bodies.

How's that for a cheery comment?

:-D

heather_artiste said...

LOL I loved reading this!

My Traveling Troop said...

Happy belated SITS days!

Enjoyed reading this post. I've certainly noticed little things that add up to one conclusion: I'm getting older. I get injured more easily when I exercise, which was never an issue in the past. And, I'm more forgetful. (Although, that could just be mommy brain. Jury still out on that one!)

Cheers,
Kristina

Post a Comment

Related Posts with Thumbnails
 
Blog Design by Sweet Simplicity