Thursday, June 24, 2010

Fairies cannot be real.

Little miss thang questions everything. I don't mean she asks a lot of questions.  I mean she questions everything!!!

At age four she suggested Santa was not real. I was not prepared for that conversation. I would have been more prepared if she asked me where babies come from. I could handle that.  I have a book with diagrams and explanations. Where is the book that debunks the "Santa is not real" myth?  

I calmly asked why she thought that. Her response: "He is just someone in a costume like the princesses at Disneyland."  Oh, my.  This is serious.  Those words are pure blasphemy for a four year old girl.  I don't know which was worse, questioning Santa or the princesses!  I was aghast.  I rarely find myself at a loss for words, but I was mute for a few excruciating moments. My life flashed before my eyes -- were we honestly done with Santa the princesses at age 4?!?

We had visited Disneyland only 10 months earlier.  She loved the princesses.  She was star-struck then entire trip.  Photographic proof.



This is not a casual encounter.  And at the time Olivia did not think this was a lady in a costume.  She thought this was Belle!  It was magical!  Absolute perfection.

But that's how it goes with this little girl.  One minute she loves everything pink and wants to do nothing but dress as a princess. The very next minute she is boxing up all her princess Barbies and asks to paint her room blue. Light blue.

Witness the difference between Halloween 2008 and Halloween 2009. And no, she is not dressed as a  nurse or doctor, she "is a surgeon. they are the best." {words and emphasis hers.}


And by the way, I asked, "what should I do with the box of princess Barbies?"  

"Save them for K's daughter." K is her twin brother (the crazy wizard pictured above). He does not have a daughter. 

"He will one day" she reminds me. Well, "what about your daughter?" I am clearly tiptoeing here.  

"I am not having kids. I don't want to get married, remember" she retorts.  

Of course.  

I explain all this because I grieve the end of innocence. As with everything else, we never fully appreciate what we have until it's gone. Or in my case, nearly gone.    

Now at seven years of age, we are currently losing teeth on a regular basis. The tooth fairy is on every one's mind and a constant topic of conversation. Additionally, little miss thang is fond of the Rainbow Magic book series which features fairies of all sorts. Suffice to say, she has fairies on the brain.  

Today at breakfast, however, she proclaimed that fairies were not real. To what do I owe this revelation?  "Well", she said, "fairy dust cannot really make people fly like in Peter Pan. The tooth fairy left fairy dust all over me, and I still cannot fly."  

So that was the big thunk I heard last night, I thought.  

And, she continued, "crocodiles live is swamps, ponds, lakes and marshes." OK, now I'm lost. "Duh, the crocodile in Peter Pan lived in an ocean. That is not real. Crocodiles do not live the in ocean."  Who can argue with a good first grade education. 

So, I concede. "You are right, Peter Pan is just a movie and is not real. Most movies are fiction as you well know. But, that does not mean fairies are not real. Of course the tooth fairy does not leave her magic flying dust on children. Can you imagine children flying about every time someone lost a tooth. It would be madness. Fairies are indeed real. In college I actually took a course about fairies and their habitats. It was quite interesting. We really should try to find a book about real fairies." (words and emphasis mine).  Shameless liar. 

"In college? You still liked fairies in college?  Weren't you too old to like fairies?"

I tried to muster the courage to say, "you are never too old", but instead, left it at "well, I was a bit of a nerd in college." 

"That's ok, Mom" she says giving me a big hug,  "at least you got good grades in college."   

Yes, the tables turned and she placated me. 

Which I suppose makes sense after all. She will not mourn her own loss of innocence. It is our child's innocence we miss, not our own. Until, that is, we hit the age where we long for innocence. For a day without the myriad worries and fears every parent faces.  

She will understand that one day, I decide. But then I remember, she will not. Because, of course, she "is never having children."

21 comments:

Brandy said...

I LOOOOOOVE this!!!!

Amy Liles said...

Thanks, B! I know you appreciate this one.
; )

Untypically Jia said...

Absolutely love your reasoning! And OMG she is so smart!!

Jenn said...

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The Bunny's a princess. Her Daddy confirms it every day, and her Aunty Cuz makes her princess costumes (I would probably leave a pin in the gown, so we make absolutely certain that I'm kept away from that kind of thing). What am I going to do when my little princess grows up?

Miranda said...

This is too funny! I have a four year old that is going to be Cinderella for Halloween next week, I can't imagine giving up the princess stage just yet. Happy sits day!

Alexandra Rose said...

This is so cute. I haven't reached the stage of questioning everything yet, and I've always thought once they've busted santa clause and the easter bunny and the tooth fairy, that you should just give in and allow them to accept the truth, but I know when the time comes I'll probably try to keep the charade going as long as possible, so I can keep my little girl just that, a little girl. Your daughter seems very intelligent, I never even realised that the crocodile in Peter Pan lives in the ocean! Duh!
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Kimberly at Rubber Chicken Madness said...

Don't you just love bright thinking children? They seem determined to dash our attempts at providing them with a childhood :)

Rachel said...

So cute! My twin daughters are four as well, and I'm constantly amazed and amused by the way their little minds work, and the things they say. Thanks for sharing!

tristan said...

you've got a sharp one on your hands! :) i must say, those scrubs fit her. you just might have a future surgeon in the house.

sharm's Outlet said...

Hi, I am visiting from SITS, WOW She is 4... you have your hands and your brain busy. I loved how she process her logical reasoning... I was a Montessori Teacher... I can understand this... Most of all I love the fact you are shared this story...

Mommy Crib Notes said...

What a smart and super cute girl you have. My own smarty pants still has all of her innocence and I'm savoring it while it lasts.

Dani (Playing Mom/Princessories) said...

What a great response to the fairies question. Just trying to hold on a little bit more. I don't look forward to the innocence going away.

Mollie Busby said...

So cute! Kids say the craziest things, don't they?!

thefamilymath said...

This is so cute but a little sad at the same time. Sounds like you have a really smart kid on your hands. We have a six-month-old and are talking through the kinds of traditions and "myths" we want to fill his childhood with and are actually leaning away from things like Santa and the tooth fairy, but we'll see!

LBDDiaries said...

This was awesome! I loved it; she is such a bright young lady. I never wanted children, either - or to get married. There was a real (St.) Nicholas on whom Santa is based. That is the story I told my son when he finally questioned Santa's validity. It seemed to satisfy him. I loved your response to fairies because as you well know, fairies DO exist.

Stefanie said...

What a WONDERFUL post! I just sit here smiling and wondering how I would handle it. So let me see if I have this right...Peter Pan - fake; Fairies - real. Got it! :)

Michael said...

I love your daughter. I have 3 nieces and 1 "pseudo" step-daughter in my live and they continually amaze me withe everything they do and say. Its to bad we cant freeze them at age 7 its when they are lots of fun.

Madison said...

My condolences on having an "extra bright" child in your house. They tend to rush through childhood. On the other hand she seems kind of adorable so it will probably work out in the end.

There was this thing going around Facebook last week that said: When your parents accuse you of lying to them, look them straight in the eye and say, "Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny."

Everything catches up with you sooner or later.

Congrats on your SITS day.

mynewfavoriteday.com said...

Happy SITS day Amy. This is so great too! I tried to comment on your home page but no luck, so here I am:)

I really love your blog on many levels. You are slightly ahead of me in this journey but first love the design. second, love the description. third, love your list of things you have. There is love, joy and gratitude in these words and as I look at the last picture of your twins, I look forward to the day when my twins will take this same photo. They are just two but we have had our share of challenges, but something about your words and this photo hooked me in! I am subscribing to your feed and I look forward to reading more. Happy SITS day to you.

maggie said...

"Mourning the loss or our own child's innocence." Love that idea and it makes me want to cry all at the same time. So true as I try to shroud my 2 1/2 year old in a protective bubble. Great post!

lindsay said...

Happy SITS! Great post. You are so right it's their innocence we don't want to lose. I feel questions similar to these just around the corner.

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