I am a mother of twins and, as such, feel like a bit of a control group for nurture versus nature. I have treated them equally since birth.
They were exposed to the same foods on the same days. They each slept the same amounts. I read to them both. Equally. I snuggled with them both. A lot. I sat on our playroom floor for hours upon hours and days upon days for years upon years. I was not a hurried mother with an older child pulling me in another direction. I was very, very present.
One sat up earlier than the other. Of course, then the other walked first.
One slept through the night effortlessly and the other gave me a run for my Baby Wise money. One lost four teeth before the other lost any.
One began reading long before the other. And multiplied. And now reduces fractions quite well.
But they started / tried sports at the same age.
They were exposed to the same amount of television. The same vacations and enrichment.
At a certain age their experiences began to differ based upon what they chose. Soccer for one, dance for the other. But they attend the same gifted and talented charter school. And otherwise live quite similar lives.
And yet, they are so very different now. Different not just in the activities they chose (though yes, those differ), but in their inner little beings. Different in sentimentalities. Different in sensitivities and resilience. Just so very different.
And sometimes the differences break my heart.
Because, I wonder, could I have done something different? Should I have recognized the differences earlier and adapted my behavior? Nurtured one more? Encouraged more social activities for one and more sports for the other? Was the convenience of equality a mistake?
For this control group we shall never know.
|My duo at the Alamo ~ December 2013|
But I do know this with all my heart, and all my soul: There is no greater calling in my life than having the privilege of raising these amazing little people.