Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Marital Training Complete.

I think we all can admit that husbands often require a little "training" at the beginning of a marriage. They need to learn to answer questions appropriately {no your butt does not look big in those jeans} and provide encouragement {of course you need a new dress for that party} when needed.

Sadly, this is not necessarily common sense for our male counterparts.

Nor does it come naturally. For most.  

Recently, however, I've noted that my husband has come along quite nicely in his training. In fact, after ten years of training I think I can safely say that not only has he graduated from training, but I have further concluded that he is an absolute keeper {though this last bit is not entirely surprising to anyone who knows him}.  

Here's a few of the recent signs that mark his substantial progress: 

Case in point #1: 

We were recently in the closet together packing for a 5 day vacation. I was stressing about the weather and what to wear and what others' would be wearing. Should I wear dresses and heels at night or stick with jeans and a cute top?  Will I need a coat every day or just for the evenings?

He did not so much as blink and eye, but immediately said: "Save yourself a lot of time and grief and pack the huge bag {we refer to it as "the beast"} with lots of options."

Never before have I heard such loving words. I threw in a few handbag options as well. Because I could. 

Case in point #2:

During no point in our travels did he suggest or ever allow me to trolley or otherwise touch "the beast." Nor did he complain or note that it weighed in as "oversized".

Case in point #3:

We recently enjoyed dinner at a very nice restaurant. A Michelin rated restaurant. After eating lunch at another Michelin rated restaurant {I heart Napa}! 

I suggested we not go to dinner at all. I was stuffed. So full I was starting to get the "is she pregnant or just really bloated" glances. 

Nonetheless, he insisted we get dressed and go to dinner at this place "I'd been talking about for months." This despite the fact that I swore only two hours earlier I would never eat again and we'd undoubtedly drop another couple hundred dollars making ourselves miserable. 

But he insisted. And I'm pretty sure he would have been fine with a burger. He's not a fancy-smancy dinner guy. He insisted for me

And I'm so glad he did! 

Case in point #4:

While enjoying said fancy-smancy meal {oh yes, I rallied} our server explained they offered a soufflé which would require twenty minutes to cook, and thus, required ordering before the entree was complete. 

"A chocolate soufflé?" I inquire. 


I pause, remembering back to the huge scene I made about being too full to even eat dinner. 

Hubs fills the silence with: "Tell them to get started on the soufflé."

Without question or pause he orders my soufflé. That, my friends, is a man who understands his wife. No questions asked. He knows I will find room for dessert {it's mostly air after all}. And he does not once remind me that I wanted to skip dinner all together. 

Case in point #5:

Hubs called me recently and caught me in the dressing room of a local boutique. "I am trying on jeans," I admitted over the phone. He did not snicker or suggest that I have at least 20 pairs of jeans hanging in my closet {only a slight exaggeration}. Nor was he silly enough to suggest that some of those jeans {which I've had for close to 8 years} may be too small {see #3 and #4}. He's no rookie. Instead he responds with, "You haven't purchased many pairs in the last few years so it makes sense that you need a few new pairs." 

A few new pairs!


Case in point #6:

A few weeks or so ago I cooked dinner for a dear friend who suffered a loss. I really didn't have the time scheduled in that week, but wanted to do something for her. It added to the crazy that the hubs was out of town that night and I'd be juggling after school activities and homework and dinner without any assistance. I made the adjustments required and made my homemade chicken noodle soup

When hubs calls that night to check in he asked what I made and if I got it delivered without incident. I explained that I made the soup, took it over and that they were, of course, very grateful. 

He was not, however, satisfied with that simple response. 

"Did they understand it takes you all day to make that soup? Did they appreciate how good it is and realize you make the stock from scratch? How did you do it all with all you had going on and all the kids' activities? And most importantly, did you save any leftovers?"

Ladies, this from a man who, when we were first married, added Tabasco to my homemade marinara. It goes without saying that my homemade marinara requires no additional seasoning, right?! 

But now he not only brags profusely about my cooking and wonders if it is lost on others but he also truly appreciates how hectic my afternoons can be! 

Training complete. 

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