Thursday, June 9, 2011

Dagger in my heart.

In a few short days my little guy leaves for sleep-away camp.

For the first time. 

Away from me. 

I will not be able to make his meals. 

Or tuck him in his bed. 

I will not be able to remind him to brush his teeth. 

Or change his underwear. 

I will not be the first to hear about every adventure. 

Or each disappointment. 

I will not tend his inevitable bumps and bruises. 

Or hear his infectious full-belly laugh. 

Of course I knew all this months ago. But as weeks, and now days close in on me the realization becomes increasingly vivid and a bit surreal.  

Tonight when tucking him into bed I told him I would miss him terribly when he was away but knew that he was going to have an incredible time and return to me bigger, braver and even more independent. 

His response: "I have the best mom in the world. I will miss you more than anyone, but I will still have some fun."

Insert dagger in heart. 

He has been a touch nervous about going away but has clearly turned the corner. 

And is not looking back.  

I'm not certain if this is for his benefit or mine, but I'm starting to think he is putting on a brave face for me.  

And when he does inevitably return bigger, braver and even more independent, I fear I'll need to come up with something to call him other than "my little guy."

Have you dealt with sending a child away yet? Was it harder on you than him or her? 

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