940 Saturdays.

True.  Of course it depends on your child's birth month and a variety of other variables. Only nerdy minds such as mine factor in such variables. Others just take this at face value and want to run off and plan a special weekend with her child. Sometimes I wish my mind operated on that level.

But it doesn't. 

And while I certainly understand, and at times, tout the "carpe diem" philosophy of parenting, I also have parented long enough to understand that some days are just too long to recognize how painfully short the years can be. 

The concept that young parents should simply "enjoy every moment because it goes so fast" infuriates me. Yes, enjoy the ride. Enjoy the big picture of parenting. But truly, I will never tell any parent to enjoy the moment when one toddler is standing in the grocery cart screaming and the other is running down the cereal aisle knocking down every box. Yes, you may eventually look back and laugh at that moment. But no sane or sober mother is laughing or enjoying that very moment.  

Nor will I attempt to make any working parent feel guilty because he or she cannot make the 300th soccer game of the season because of work. Work pays the bill for the cleats, the pizza party, and the trophy for every kid on the team. Work is a necessity. 

When and why did every moment become so special?  

Growing up my parents did not entertain me every weekend. Actually, think it's fair to say they entertained me very few weekends. Truly, those few were special occasions. Most weekends they were busy with yard work, chores, friends, and activities of their own. They taught bridge in our basement for college credit {this still baffles me}. They mowed the yard. They cleaned the house. They cooked meals. They socialized with their own friends. 

This is not to say that I was in any way neglected as a child. Quite the contrary. My parents were fabulous parents. They encouraged me and loved me unconditionally. They just didn't entertain me. If I said I was bored my mother handed me Comet and told me to clean all the sinks. And I did. 

I remember when my duo were just babes, my father said one day while I was playing with my kids on the floor of his living room, "You are always on the floor entertaining them. We never spent time on the floor with you." True. I have many pictures of myself in a playpen surrounded by toys. Mom was probably busy sewing a dress for herself. I was incapable of sewing on a button when my duo was little -- I was too busy sitting on the floor entertaining them. 

What caused this cultural shift and is it good for us or our children? 

Quite frankly, though I've already spent over 520 Saturdays "enjoying" my children, I would argue that every weekend should not be a special occasion. Children need to learn to entertain themselves, or perchance, to clean the sinks.  

Yes, we should enjoy quality time with our children. Often. But we should also enjoy ourselves - with and without them. 

We should enjoy family game nights filled with laughter and silliness, but we should not feel guilty about couple date nights filled with champagne and sushi. We need both. And they need to see a healthy relationship in action. 

We too should celebrate the change of the seasons and jump on the trampoline until our legs sag. We should also enjoy the crisp breeze from our perch in a hammock reading a book. Alone. Children can entertain themselves. More so as they get older, but even in small spurts when they are young. Work from wherever you are.  

Finally, we should not feel guilty about working. {Unless, that is, you are a workaholic who prefers working to living. That is another issue and one which I shall not address.} But if you, like the hubs, have a job that demands working weekends from time to time, then work on the weekends. Weekend days are not sacred. Find quality time when you can. Don't beat yourself up for providing for your family.

I have no doubt I will miss my children when they head off to college. I will most certainly miss the messes and the loudness and the busyness they bring. Without question. That tremendous feeling of loss, however, will not wane simply because we had 940 meticulously-planned, over-the-top Saturdays together. 

Carpe diem.  

When you can. 

Or lay around next Saturday and read a really good book.

Kids should have parents who do both. 

Because truly, while creating an-every-weekend-is-a-party mentality may prepare children for college, perhaps it is not in the manner you intend. 

Dinner this week.

I do indeed recognize that it is strange, or startling, or perhaps, even jolting for me to casually show up here in this little space of mine and suggest a menu for the week. I had no intentions of reincarnating this blog or this blog series. 

Truth be told, I'm feeling a touch of guilt for feeding my kids pasta three nights this week {hubs is in trial and not dining with us}. As if that weren't enough, one of my besties, J, said she missed this feature. Well, you see, J's babes are my God children, and thus, I take it as a moral imperative to ensure she does not fall into my pasta-is-so-easy-and-quick rut. Our children deserve better.

So, yes, I'm back on my meal-planning bonanza and I'm taking you all {or perhaps, just J} along with me.  Like it or not!   

So here's my week at a glance: 

Friday night - Out-to-dinner night {despite the fact that so was Thursday - this single mom gig is rough duty}.

Saturday night - Grilled Balsamic Flank Steak. 

The hubs can grill. He must take a night off eventually. And I'm pretty sure grilling is cathartic. Right?! I'll serve this with roasted or grilled veggies.  

Sunday night - Red Wine-Braised Short Ribs. 

We have a cold front coming through and this will be a glorious day to have something warm simmering on the stove making the house smell incredible. Yes, it does take all day to make, but that's what Sunday's are for.  Make extra.  The leftovers are divine. Serve with a side salad and crusty bread. 

Monday night - Easy White Chicken Chili. 

I'm hoping the air is still brisk.  This is an easy weeknight dinner. Hopefully you have leftover crusty bread.

Tuesday night - Salmon with Avocado Salsa.
Another quick weeknight meal. Quinoa as the side with similar salsa ingredients incorporated and dressed with lemon and olive oil.  Of course, it will be hot again so this will be refreshing.

Wednesday night - Vanilla Bean-Whipped Sweet Potatoes.
I realize this is a side, but I could eat the entire bowl pictured.  I love this with a pork tenderloin {roasted at 425 for 20-25 minutes}.

Enjoy!

#StandwithWendy

I assume the vast majority of you, not just Texans but Americans, have now heard about the epic stand Wendy Davis took in the Texas Senate on Tuesday. The national networks all covered the story on Wednesday and Davis took a well-deserved victory lap on the morning show circuit.

Abortion is among the most divisive issues in American politics. It has the power to rally the grassroots, inspire explosive rhetoric, boost candidacies and raise money for both parties. I do not intend to debate its merits. My thoughts on the matter are of no consequence to most of you, and I am not likely to change your mind if our views do not align.

But suffice to say, yes, I stand with Wendy. I wholeheartedly believe that limiting a state the size of Texas {268,820 sq. miles} to approximately five licensed abortion clinics is not in the best interest of the women in Texas.

That is where I'll leave it on the substance of this issue, because what concerns me {not more than the merits, but concerns me} is what happened after the successful filibuster and what seems to be happening in politics in general.  

While #StandwithWendy went viral across America, and Davis rocketed to sudden, national political stardom, Governor Perry, clamoring for the national spotlight himself, immediately admonished the star of the Democratic filibuster, saying state Senator Wendy Davis's rise from tough upbringing to Harvard Law graduate should have taught her the value of each human life.  

Wait.  Stop right there.  

He did not. 

Certainly the Governor of Texas, and Presidential hopeful, would not be so openly crass and unfeeling as to suggest that a Texas Senator should support ending abortion rights in Texas simply because she was born to anything less than a wealthy two-parent family?!?  

Surely you jest.

Sadly, no. 

"Who are we to say that children born in the worst of circumstances can't lead successful lives?" Perry said in a speech to nearly 1,000 delegates at the National Right to Life Conference in suburban Dallas. "Even the woman who filibustered the Senate the other day was born into difficult circumstances."

And he doesn't stop there. 

He added, “She was the daughter of a single woman, she was a teenage mother herself. She managed to eventually graduate from Harvard Law School and serve in the Texas Senate. It's just unfortunate that she hasn't learned from her own example that every life must be given a chance to realize its full potential and that every life matters."

And further.

"I'm proud that she's been able to take advantage of her intellect and her hard work, but she didn't come from particularly good circumstances," our governor commented to reporters. "What if her mom has said, 'I just can't do this.' At that particular point in time I think it becomes very personal."

Personal, indeed.  

Did he truly insinuate that her pedigree alone suggests her mother may have considered an abortion?

Rick Perry's remarks are not only incredibly condescending to Davis personally, but are also incredibly insulting to all women. These remarks which show so little regard for women are exactly why the vast majority of women believe politicians shouldn't be involved in a woman's personal health care decision in the first place.

Last I checked, abortions are not only offered to poor single mothers. Sadly, in Texas, though, Perry has slashed funding to Planned Parenthood ensuring many poor single mothers do not have access to birth control, and thus, are more likely to get accidentally pregnant.

Brilliant.

Thankfully, Davis didn't take it too personally and was able to take the high road, stating, “Rick Perry’s statement is without dignity and tarnishes the high office he holds."

Indeed.

I expect more of my elected officials.

I expect dignity.

I expect a leader who doesn't take cheap shots at other elected officials. Or anyone.

Dignity.

It seems to be in very short supply these days.

Shame on you, Governor Perry.

Shame on you for hitting below the belt.

For making it personal.

And shame on Texas for continuing to allow Perry to hold the highest office in our great State.

Americans, please do not make the same mistake!

To that end, I'd love to get another hashtag trending: #DonewithPerry.

The Gift of an Ordinary Day.

My BFF shared this YouTube video with me last week while I was away on a family vacation. 

Yes, I look, and most certainly was, delirious. Traveling as a family, especially for a ski vacation, has that effect on me.  Either that or I had one too many beers at lunch.  

It's really anyone's guess. 

But back to the video. 

It struck accord with me today. 

It probably would have any day, but it did so especially today.

Spending time away as a family is such a magical time. 

Returning to the daily grind, however, is not. 

It's so very easy to loose a sense of perspective on life.

Because what really is important is the every day. 

Not the milestones, or the fancy vacations, but the little every day moments. 

Grab the Kleenex and enjoy! 

Butterflies and Rainbows. Or not.

While watching the Oscars {or was it the Grammys?!} a few weeks ago, I saw a tweet that stated Adele and Taylor Swift are basically the same age. 

Yes, go ahead and let that sink in a bit. 

Taylor Swift and Adele.  

The same age. 

How can that be when one seems perpetually stuck in boy-crazy middle school and the other has the composure and grace of a much older and more mature woman. No offense to Taylor. She is absolutely darling -- just in a young-girl-head-in-the-clouds sort of way. Adele, on the other hand, is gorgeous and a mother and seemingly much more mature {in my humble opinion}. 

When I shared this fact with Little Miss Thang {who adores both artists} she was equally aghast. She quickly recovered, though, and offered this explanation: I suppose Taylor Swift has had a much easier life and Adele's has been harder, because Taylor is more a rainbows and butterfly girl and Adele is  tougher or edgier. 

An astute observation. I have no idea how accurate this may or may not be, but she makes a valid point that your experiences and upbringing ultimately form, or at least have bearing upon, the person you become. 

As Little Miss Thang reaches her 1st decade birthday this week -- double digits and her golden birthday as she says -- I began to reflect on the past decade as a mother of this mighty might.

Nine years of birthday celebrations!

While we are now firmly betwixt child and teen,  I can already see she is quite clearly becoming a young lady I admire -- equal parts sweet and sass. Or in other words, a little bit butterflies and rainbows, but undoubtedly, with an edge all her own.

She is annoyed by her boy-crazy friends and still insists she is not getting married. 

She has impeccable manners and uses them quite sparingly. 

She absolutely loves all animals and hates anything pink. 

She enjoys the company of many friends but will not declare a bestie. 

She still loves spending time with her mommy but dashes out the door as soon as a friend calls texts. 

She plays with dolls but has given away her Barbies. 

She inhales 200+ page books in a single day, but she refuses to give away her Rainbow Magic fairy series. 

She only cries during movies and books when an animal dies {never when a human, usually the mom, dies!}. 

She would skydive tomorrow if we let her but is deathly afraid of bugs. 

Just enough butterflies and rainbows to want a dress-up party for her 10th birthday. But a dress-up party with an edge -- red carpet themed complete with an actual red carpet and paparazzi. 

10th Birthday Red Carpet Celebration

And so it seems Little Miss Thang mastered this balance with no concerted effort on my part. 

In fact, I posit she was born this way. 

Amazing how we plan to actively raise our children only to later realize we are really just along for the ride, or perchance, to learn a few things ourselves.

Please remind me of this again in another few years when I am fully enmeshed in the teen years!